Extramarital AffairsInfidelityMarriageDating and RelationshipsShould I tell the other deceived spouse that her husband was having an affair with my wife?Earlier this year (March, 2012) I discovered my wife was having an affair. Does this make me a bad person? Would you like to video or text chat with me? Unsurprisingly, cheated-on partners sometimes find themselves struggling with even the simplest of actions and decisions regarding both their relationship and day-to-day life. I didn’t have a clue. Sometimes men feel the soreness or swelling in one testicle; other times it is felt around both testicles. I have loved my husband for 32 years and I maintain that I never stopped loving him …
He had moved to the USA from a different country. In the United States, placing a call recorder on your spouse’s phone is a Federal offense. Or that your husband has wiped her from his life and memory. She eventually fell asleep, despite the pain. It clouds his judgement.)We had a huge fight about her because I felt like he’s obviously encouraging her on some levels because the tone of her text message has stepped up a knotch. You can use  for a free trial with no credit card initially required. Take her to the Health Department so yo guy can get treated for the disease.
I find him to be very attractive verbally. I do know two things: First: You can’t make a marriage on your own. If you ever find yourself at the point where you are seriously considering bugging a partner’s phone, leave. If my husband ever cheated on me, I’d leave in a heart beat! transmided disease and the people were right he did mess around that night and i had proof. It doesn’t matter if they are guilty or innocent. It doesn’t matter if they’re loyal or not.
A relationship can’t function without trust. Unfortunately, you’ve already committed a crime. What do you do now? Stay strong! Get a good divorce lawyer. I know God protected me and I am so thankful. Ask your lawyer, not Quora, what you should do next, and listen to your lawyer’s advice.
Good luck! I would rather him say, that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, than to cheat on me.. Surely I know something.2.2k Views · Mechelle has 60+ answers in Dating AdviceOh what a mess. Unfortunately it is a mess I’m familiar with. And everyone likes to share juicy news. To be honest, I didn’t give a rat’s ass where the proof came from and did not feel obligated to disclose my source. He was cheating.
After you have confronted him with the evidence of his cheating, ask him to be honest with you. What I did might not have been the best route but it did get it out in the open. I just got cold as ice. Real cold. I functioned in autopilot just going about my days. Biding my time hoping to get my son raised before the shit hit the fan but it was too volatile. My son was 15.
War was declared when he went to touch me. If looks could kill he would have exploded. It felt like it burned where he touched me. I started shaking inside. Kathleen Maloney, Have been a serial monogamist for my entire adult life321 ViewsI’m sorry to give you bad news but your relationship sounds like an absolute train wreck. The flames of Hell were stoked and before I knew it chaos took hold and nothing could be reigned in. Work on your own family life.
He still loves her very much, and finds her very desirable. I told him he had his choice. Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is Senior Vice President of Clinical Development with Elements Behavioral Health. He says he would’ve returned to our marriage anyway, but I’ve learned through all of this that we really don’t know what we would do unless we’ve actually been there. He left. Did my husband cheat Dec 04, 2014 Men cheat on their wives for many different reasons. You seem to give hope to so many women.
It has too many variables. Allot of people said consult a lawyer. I agree. Do not do anything stupid like go find someone to cheat on him with. If he is ignoring you all of a sudden he better have a really good reason or else you should end the relationship. Do not demand to know “why” it’s irrelevant. my husband was caught, accidentally, cheating about a year ago.
They need you to be strong. Just because your marriage is falling apart doesn’t mean you aren’t a mother any more. Do not threaten him with making the divorce nasty. Getting trich when you have done nothing sexual with anyone else is proof of infidelity. Let him underestimate you as much as possible. That’s your ace in the hole. I managed to accumalate a few aces in the hole.
I got a written agreement signed by him detailing the arrangements until the divorce is final. You know, who lives where. I know your strong, and we’re all here for you!!!! Smartest thing I’ve ever done. Whatever you decide to do it is likely you will find yourself having to pick up the pieces and move on. Don’t dread it. Welcome it.
You have great expectations, speak on it.” So what you want you should speak on it. One last thing. Do not let this experience ruin your ability to love another man sometime down the road. It takes years to truly forgive yourself. They don’t all cheat. There are some very nice men out there that will treat you like you deserve to be treated. My boyfriend is the most genuinely decent man I’ve ever known.
We’re going on 4 years together and we haven’t had 1 single argument other than some mild irritation when we first started living together. I remember thinking to myself before I met him that I was done with love. No more looking stupid. Turns out, my husband didn’t rob me of my ability to love or even to trust. I wish the best for you. This is one of those times that could define the rest of your life. Shelley Harris, Interests-education, baking, health, psychology, aging, relationships, chocolate2.7k Views · Shelley has 60+ answers in Dating AdviceI’m sorry you’re going through this.
Talk to an attorney about this before you talk to your husband. Keep your ace up your sleeve until you know the exact moment when it will be appropriate to use it. I have been on both sides of the fence. There is never any good that comes from these situations. What you have to do now is make a choice. That choice is, “fight or flight.” You are either going to fight for your marriage or you will chose to flee from it. A lot of the answers here have then explained that people confuse love with feeling jealous over the other person’s sexual behaviors and that it seems “odd” to some people, or like a lack of love in the case that their partner isn’t upset.
Though, statistically affairs are often just too damaging to the basic foundation the marriage for it to be fully restored. What you do not have to do is make a decision right this minute. I strongly suggest you go seek professional counseling and get an objective and unbiased opinion first. Talk all of this through. – Relationship Problems ?EUR Tools to … When you are at home, you will not be on the mobile checking websites. Explore all of your options.
You will also be able to talk about any unresolved issues and other problems within your marriage with your therapist. My heartfelt best wishes to you. Jeremy Smith, I’ve been cheated on, I don’t recommend it. It sucks. A lot. I have chose the latter this time. I’d delete it from his phone, and get rid of any evidence you ever used it, as soon as humanly possible.
It did it’s job, you know exactly what you need to know, and ther’s no reason for any other human being to know how. Ever. Emotional or physical stress, or changes in the chemical balance in the vagina, can cause the infection to become symptomatic. Nothing, and I mean not a sinlge thing in existence should ever make that bit of information come out of your head until you die. Don’t even ever say anything that would imply exactly what, or how you know, what you know about his affair. Maybe you hired a PI, maybe you got a tip from somebody in their office, whatever, but the less you say, the better. You just say you know, and it doesn’t matter how.
No matter how many times he asks, Do. This man made a vow to you. Tell. Your first step should be to go consult a lawyer. Find out what your options are, what a divorce might go like. Get the lay of the land. Then you need to really think hard on what you want going forward.
What can you accept? What are you willing to work past? The Dark Knight within me had risen indeed. Do you want a new relationship with him? If you do, and he agrees, which is not a given, unless you both put in a lot of work, it’s doomed to failure, so if you aren’t all in, just find out what legally works to your best advantage and go for that, without mercy. Be mindful of preserving his ability to make a living and pay child and or spousal support. Go to a doctor.
Get a full check up, ask for an std panel. Tell the doctor what’s going on, and if you feel it is affecting you physically in any way. Excercise might help deal with the stress and the emotions you’ll be feeling more effectively. If you do want to work it out, then you confront him, give him a choice to drop her 100% and choose you, right then, right there, no other options, or proceed with out mercy for divorce. Should he choose you, they go no contact, period. Inform her spouse, don’t tell either of them you’re going to do it either, just do it. It’s the best way to kill whatever romance they have.
You have to be a bit careful though, because you don’t have full control over the other spouse. He could report them to HR, which might be a problem. Either way, one of them should be leaving the job. Remember, you can change your mind at any time, and give him the boot. He should commit to full transparency. Full access to devices, email, phone, what ever, when ever, no questions. It’s a completely awful way to live, but you’ll want the access for a while, because the trust has been completely shattered, right?
Individual councelling for both of you, then marriage councelling likely. Find some one well versed in affairs. Some one who will hold him to account for his choice, and not try to shift some blame onto you. I live in Delray Beach Florida and have … On one hand you violated his privacy-you went into his phone and recorded his phone call, and listened to it. Confronting him with information gotten in this manner could really be a problem. He will know that he can’t trust you even if he does cop to the affair and wants to fix the marriage.
The fact that you violated his privacy like that may have repercussions that may make it hard to fix the relationship. On the other hand, you now know that your husband is unfaithful, and you do have to figure something out. Living with someone you know is cheating without addressing it is not a solution either. If you tell him you will find out, he will then know that you will start poking around-you don’t have to let him know HOW you plan to do it. I don’t really have any reason not to trust my husband, but it has entered my mind how easily he could cheat without me knowing. He doesn’t have to know HOW you found out-he already knew you’d start sniffing around, and he can use his own imagination as to how you found out without you having to tell him. Now I will add this caveat: If this man is abusive or dangerous, DON’T DO THE ABOVE.
You shouldn’t be married to him anyway cheating or not, but with what you know, coupled with the abuse, you need to leave. He may be angry if you out him, and beat you up or kill you. Consult an attorney, tell him or her what you know, and ask for advice on how to handle it.