I have these last months had a growing suspicion that something isn’t right “down there”. It can be demonstrated by virus identification through culture or PCR testing. and at risk of catching it… Before we became intimate, I told him that I’ve had H for 10 years. If it is herpes (planning on getting tested soon as possible..) I’m afraid he’s infected too and of how to break the news to him.. HSV can be reactivated and travel from the ganglia along the sensory nerves to the epithelial cells at the site of infection OR to an area supplied by sensory nerves branching from the same ganglia (anywhere in the boxer short area). your in labour dr does examination and spots the start of herpes or infestation…
He still thought I was an amazing woman and he was constantly telling me how lucky he was to be with me. About a month into our relationship, I sent him links to resources so he could learn more about H and what his risks were. It is likely that all people with genital HSV infection shed virus asymptomatically at some time. hmmm what do you think dr will be saying erm sorry i can not tell you because babys mum says so or well there is a risk of infection to baby i think i know which will be said, also dr will try to reasure your bf and mum that there is no danger to you and baby but they can not allow you to deliver natural i am sure your mum and bf are not stupid and well they will know something is wrong… I know I did the right thing by disclosing my status before we had sex but I can’t help feeling overwhelming guilt for giving this to him. Although it has been a long time ago since my first outbreak, I know all of the emotions he is going through and feel as if I ruined his life because I am the one that gave it to him. The National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) III conducted in the US between 1988 and 1994 found that >90% of people who were infected with HSV-2 were not aware of it.
It’s hard for me to grasp that this has happened because we have been so careful; he wears condoms every time we have sex and I take daily Valtrex. My last four boyfriends and even my ex of four years and I hardly ever used condoms, I have taken daily Valtrex for the last 9 years, and none of them have ever developed H. How could I have transmitted H to my current boyfriend when we’ve been so careful?! They don’t need to be further stigmatized, the general population needs to be better educated about signs and symptoms of herpes. I just can’t understand how it could have been transmitted so easily this time but I’ve never given it to anyone in my past when I haven’t used condoms. My problem is that now my boyfriend is avoiding me. I know he feels dirty, ashamed, and disgusted with himself.
I’m sure he is angry with me and with himself for taking the risk. I know that he probably just needs space to figure out his emotions and I have been giving him that. But I don’t know how long I should give him. Not only do I feel incredibly guilty for giving him H, I feel completely rejected, and heartbroken because of him pushing me away. I don’t know how I should feel or what I should say or do to make things better or to move forward in a relationship with him. It breaks my heart that I’ve hurt him and now my heart is breaking because I think I’ve lost him. I think the hardest part is when he started having questionable symptoms, we talked about it, and he told me that he would not be mad at me or take it out on me in any way.
He knew what he was getting in to and he decided to continue a sexual relationship with me. But now that the reality of him actually having H has hit him, it seems that he feels differently. Now, I’m starting to feel anger for how he’s dealing or not dealing with things and I don’t know if that’s appropriate. Can someone please help me to understand how I should feel, how much time/space I should give him, and how I should approach him? For someone that’s been recently diagnosed, what kind of emotions did you go through? What would have helped you? I don’t want him to feel alone and I want to be there for him; I just feel like he doesn’t want me around now.
And I know telling him that he will eventually accept this as apart of himself, love himself anyway, and it will become a small thing in his life won’t help him.