So to give the background scoop: I have been trying to get back into dating, so I went on online dating because its so hard to meet anyone decent nowadays. But what is it that you’re actually ashamed of? I was just really looking for platonic friends, but then when we met we just clicked. The other half we don’t. I remember crying for hours and asking why me? Many have genital herpes; a few share their story here. My question or dilemma is how do I put myself out there and risk rejection?
So by our 3rd date, she spent a night and we cuddled in the bed and made out and that was it – I made sure to not do anything else because I didn’t want to put her at risk. At first I was so fearful of being rejected that I turned to dating sites for people with herpes. I found out that the virus that causes genital sores also causes cold sores and also a variation of the virus causes mononucleosis and chicken pox/shingles. So I practiced my speech over and over, trying to get my tears out before hand to feel more confident about it. I feel bad for him. I’ve reached a point in my life where I could careless if everyone in the world new I had herpes I am finally seeing it for the blessing that it truly is. I think it was wcsdancergirl2010 that posted about disclosing on her profile page.
I felt inspired and decided to do the same. I went ahead and disclosed my herpes status on my dating profile. And, if you’re like many patients, you may become tongue-tied when you enter the doctor’s office. We’ve kept my guy under wraps except for hand jobs. I’ve finally realized that it’s only a big deal if I make it a big deal. I can tell someone in the future if I need to. Sometimes they simply message asking for more info and actually go on google and research it.
I find it’s easier for me to let my dates know ahead because I feel guilty giving they’re hopes up if it’s a deal breaker. I’ve known him for 2 years but have only been dating him for 2 weeks. We ended up having sex 2 more times! He’s invited me to meet friends. Also His parents are going to be in town soon and he would like me to meet them. Since my diagnosis I have been celibate. Mostly because I feel as if I’ve been leading him on and I don’t want to give his hopes up.
I’m scared that the longer I wait the more feelings I’ll have and I will be heartbroken if he rejects me. Is it better to disclose before things get really serious? Or is it better to tell him to lets take thing slow and wait longer?