She said yes. . At the time we had only been together for less than a month. Use topical antivirals and pill antivirals. We broke up for 6 months and I had one sexual experience with someone that has cold sores and they gave me oral sex. But I really need some advice and help. Now I can’t have sex without feeling guilty and frightened.
And, all he could do was sit next to me and awkwardly pat me on the shoulder. The love that we share. i have never even had a cold sore. I uderstand his concern and don’t want to give this to him. Doctors test for it if 1. I am on day 19 of this misery. What should I avoid eating or drinking?
It actually worked out for me, because he thought me being a man was much worse. Anyway, I am getting off track. I want to help him get through this, but I have trouble myself dealing with it, even though I have had it for so long. could this herpes be an indication of the early symptoms/ suppressed immune system because of hiv? He was debating telling me at all because he didn’t want me to blame myself. So, here I am trying to help someone else, and I realize that I cannot because I still feel horrible about what I have. I cannot have sex without thinking about it, and it has made me quite celibate as the years have gone by.
RIGHT after having sex (2 days later) I was in horrible pain and burning when I peed. Casual sex is not an option anymore, which isn’t that big of a problem for me, but seems to be a problem for him. And, that wonderful moment where you are about to have sex for the first time with someone you care about, that unplanned, spur-of-the-moment dance that two people experience is now ‘tainted’ by having to admit to someone that there is a risk to sharing that physical moment. I can’t even daydream about having sex with someone, because even they are ruined by having to admit it to myself. I guess, ultimately, I just have such a negative outlook on it. I had always been awfully shy and didn’t have many relationships in high school, no friends, and certainly no boyfriends. I had a few when I was a senior.
The first boyfriend took my virginity, the second showed me the pleasure of sex, but both relationships were short lived. and rather than stand strong I backed down,and told him I would get my tests back on monday and Im sure it was nothing.. My friend had a brother. I wasn’t particularly attracted to him, he was older, and I remember even thinking he was scary. I didn’t want anything to happen, but I didn’t know how to say ‘no’ either. I just closed my eyes and pretended I was somewhere else. In the end, I was just grateful he didn’t have sex with me, but he had kissed me in a very private area.
I had heard about oral sex, but had particularly never thought about receiving it. This might sound odd, but I felt I always had a strong connection with nature, when I was a child I would wander deep into the woods behind my house. And, for the first time in my life, I felt like I wasn’t special after all, that nature had turned against me and left me alone. Ever since I could remember, I would daydream about the kind of love people say is only for the movies. I would daydream about adventures and all the possibilities the future held. And in one moment, I lost it all. Or so it felt like.
All that hope and all those dreams that had always defined me turned dark. I wasn’t angry, but instead there was a endless sinking feeling in my chest, an emptiness with a blank stare.