Savage Love

Savage Love

It’s the one-minute wonder show! Well, not being much of a boy for porn (shut up), neither the hell did I until Kevin Kauer brought him to man an inspired “spanking booth” (like a traditional kissing both, but much more spanking and a little less herpes) during Dickslap in August last year. So I’m wondering, what’s the deal? We married for all the right reasons after a long “courtship.” My problem lies with my addiction, if you will, to receiving head from a particular male. The problem is that I find myself very sexually attracted to him dressed. (Cat humping.) On the Magnum, Dan and sex blogger Ella Dawson are here to SMASH THE HERPES STIGMA once and for all. It’s created a tool that will let you remove Songs Of Innocence from your iTunes account—if that’s really what you want—with a single click.

And you’re the one who didn’t read the label on the nearest bottle of whatever before pouring its contents all over your cock. After much trial and error, I settled on an IUD—but my gyno made me swear a blood oath before she put it in that I wouldn’t sleep around, because an IUD is a monogamist’s device. (I grew up in a weird fam­ily that lived “off the grid,” and I didn’t get on­line un­til I got in­to col­lege at age 23.) I’ve nev­er been able to bring my­self to tell any­one about my kink. I feel like an as­shole for even hav­ing these thoughts. It’s also fine to explore racially charged fantasies so long as everyone is up for it and no one feels disrespected or dehumanized. You’re forced to listen to it. They provide excellent protection against HIV infection, gonorrhea, and chlamydia (diseases spread by genital secretions); they’re slightly less effective at protecting you against herpes, HPV, and syphilis (diseases spread by skin-to-skin contact).

Existing in the same sphere was the continued Peralta-Santiago love saga, the most inelegant of “Tactical Village’s” plots. The writing and the cast take this sketch from a single, worthy joke to the richest, fullest scene of the episode. If she didn’t know you were a virgin, OPA, tell her. I’d say he needs a good colonic and a cleansing fast.” The colonic and fast will get the gunk out of your guts. And one day your son is going to look all of this up on the internet. Not even going to a therapist helped. Make an effort to vary your style and you’ll make an easier transition from your own right hand to the less intense, more subtle and infinitely more pleasurable sensations provided in your true love’s twat, throat and tush.

I could easily make this fantasy come true, but I wonder if you think that would be going too far. Lots of dykes watch gay male porn, a phenomenon I would unpack in this space if, um, I had the faintest idea what was up with that. Explain that you’re prone to joyous laughter when you’re turned on and you might get a little giddy during his performance. Your “virgin” friend was just as sexually active as any crusty ol’ dyke, and all sexually active people put themselves at some risk of contracting STDs, hymen or no hymen. Disclosure is obviously important, because it’s not like anyone strives to contract herpes, but it’s also usually manageable if you get it. Burgers, boarding, sex – if we’ve taken reasonable precautions, the odds are in our favor. My boyfriend of two years has only ever slept with me.

And you’re the one who didn’t read the label on the nearest bottle of whatever before pouring its contents all over your cock. That was four years ago. Since then, I have been through eight different versions of the pill. There may be a handful of gay guys out there who won’t want to date a guy with one ball, and they’ll make their excuses and refrain from seeing you again. Next week in Savage Love: Sick and twisted questions from 100 percent straight perverts. Meanwhile, good-time girl Dizzy Flores (Dina Meyer), in love with Rico, enlists to be near him. Even though you may have already had herpes when you met this guy (you could’ve been exposed long ago and just not shown any symptoms to date), you still have a legit complaint.
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Even days after, the left side of my penis head was really sensitive and it hurt. Condoms can break, tear, slip off, or leak. “It was like being in a battlefield,” Dr. Should I continue on the pill or tell my husband that if he wants sex, he has to share responsibility in avoiding pregnancy? Finally, sex industry sources say Clublove employs an illegal break policy, where performers get half of the hour the state requires, and managers get nothing. I’ve been spending my summer vacation reading through the Savage Love archives on your new Savage Love iPhone app. But if it’s vaginal intercourse he wants, then he’ll have to get used to condoms.

Problem is, this last woman I slept with e-mails me a few weeks ago and tells me she’s pregnant. I was watching a porno featuring a hot gay threesome. People will buy anything to improve their inti-macy without having to really work at it. The odd part: The tops shared a single condom! I’m wondering how safe this might be. It certainly doesn’t seem safe. “I have had the same problem with feeling sick to my stomach after swallowing.

I’m afraid I’ll wind up with another Paul and not a Peter. I am a 25-year-old straight woman. I recently started seeing a man. The first time I slept with him, he told me that he was interested in a relationship, and I told him that I wanted to keep things purely casual. Over the next month and a half of talking to him, hanging out, and having sex, I started to really like him. But it’s not the end of the world, or the end of your sex life, and it doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship. The last time I saw him was a week ago.

That’s what I want! As he was beginning to elaborate, I told him to leave. I kind of made a living at it. If he had told me this before we had sex, Dan, I would have been able to have a constructive conversation about this. The problem now, if I’m being completely honest with myself, is that I really like him and I don’t want to stop seeing him. I can understand why you were upset. You had already taken things to the “next level” in your heart—you were thinking of this guy as your boyfriend—you just hadn’t gotten around to informing him about the upgrade.

And you assumed that, when you did get around to letting him know, he would be delighted. I’d love to go to one of the big, crazy conservative Christian fundamentalist schools, but I don’t think I could get into one of those schools with a crowbar. Unfortunately, he took you at your word when you said you weren’t interested in a relationship. Keeping things “purely casual” meant he was free to pursue a relationship with someone else. I can’t help but wonder what he was about to say when you told him to get out. He met someone else, which wasn’t a violation of your rules. Did that mean things were over between you two (which would make the timing of the last fuck an insult)?

Or was he willing to pass on this other girl if you were ready for a relationship (which would make tossing him out before he could elaborate a mistake)? You probably should’ve heard him out. Go ahead and reach out. Let him know that you were thinking about taking things to the next level—ughers to that phrase—before he told you about the other girl. You were starting to fall for him, you hoped he felt the same, and you were disappointed. But since he was only doing what you asked—keeping it casual—you can’t fault him for keeping his options open, looking around, dating other girls, etc. And you can’t fault him for failing to read your mind.

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So, MIST, do you love your wife more than you fear a relatively mild STI that you’ve probably already been exposed to and may have exposed your wife to in the first place? We’ve been in a monogamous relationship for four years. To quote the Wikipedia entry for amnesia, “though hardly anyone gets amnesia in reality, over two percent of all fictional characters in movies, books, short stories and television shows (particularly soap operas) have had amnesic effects at some point in their lives.” Mix in Harlequin Presents and we’ve got a full-blown epidemic. This is our problem: She brought up the idea of an open relationship until I get down there. I said OK — trying to be GGG — and 24 hours later called her back and reneged. Maybe I’m projecting, I don’t know. If you’re looking for a label, WANK, what’s wrong with “exhibitionist”?

I trust her and, as much as anyone in this situation can say this, I believe that she would only be after the sex if she slept with another guy—but the idea of another guy doing anything to her drives me nuts. Is it really possible she didn’t know? Every year our readers dutifully fill out our sex survey and prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Seattle ain’t no place for wimps. As for CFNM porn—that’s “clothed female, naked male”—most of it features strong subtexts (or domtexts) of humiliation, even seemingly vanilla-ish iterations, but that’s unavoidable. Look, kiddo, there’s a difference between being a jealous asshole and being a self-aware sex partner. What do you think? But it’s in there.

I’m a gay man who never experimented with girls when I was younger. Jealousy is not trusting your girlfriend when she’s out of your sight; it’s flipping out when other men notice her; it’s making furious and baseless accusations of cheating. Yet I’ve only ever once made a reference to a character being affected. Jealousy is controlling/manipulative/abusive behaviour masquerading as insecurity. We’re talking sex partners here, CIC, not large pizzas or pot stashes — a reluctance to share is not evidence of a character flaw. I also have a fantasy for a woman to watch me have sex with my BF or another man. Attempts to find a woman via various websites have so far been unfruitful.

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We’re talking sex partners here, CIC, not large pizzas or pot stashes—a reluctance to share is not evidence of a character flaw. So, MIST, do you love your wife more than you fear a relatively mild STI that you’ve probably already been exposed to and may have exposed your wife to in the first place? (Ladies? What is up with that?) And on more than one occasion, lesbian pals have asked me and my boyfriend to put on a live sex show for ’em. I love the man too much to care if he gains a little weight, but I don’t think he’s interested in gaining just a little. Then he told me that he would be moving to Las Vegas at the end of July, but wanted to date until he left. But you, clearly, could do better by your lesbian buddies.

And how do you ask the boyfriend to go there with you? I am a 25-year-old straight woman who recently got out of a monogamous relationship with a man with herpes. Very few bathroom breaks, far fewer bespectacled folks than in real life, nearly no mentions of hay fever. He developed symptoms a year into our relationship and I believe him when he said he hadn’t cheated on me. So here’s the issue: Do I tell future partners in advance that I’ve been exposed and risk scaring them off over a disease I don’t seem to have? During the three-?way, my then-?future boyfriend struggled with a condom and said that they “choked” him. Then he asked if he could stick it in me without a condom.

So here’s the issue: Do I tell future partners in advance that I’ve been exposed and risk scaring them off over a disease I don’t seem to have? Keep going out, keep meeting guys, and, again, stop whining. Long story short, we hit it off and thus began a relationship. After a month of blissful, unprotected sex, my boyfriend told me that he has herpes! Help please? Well, not outed, exactly. What do you think?

You met up with a strange guy for a nearly anonymous three-?way that some other guy set up over Craigslist, and it turns out that this strange man you met – your now-?boyfriend – has a rather common sexually transmitted infection. If you do have herpes, SSA, I would encourage you to be open about it—all of it, SSA. Is it annoying the hero? Not just your exposure and the fact that you haven’t had a single outbreak, but also the odds that the person with whom you’re sharing this info has herpes himself. I finally had that moment of clarity that made me realize what a tool I am, and how I was jeopardizing a great family life for some extra pussy (or manpussy, depending on the hookup). He’ll lie to you about other stuff – like, you know, vasectomies that he may or may not have had. You’re worried about the herpes when you should probably be worried about the most common STI of all: pregnancy.

Bottom line, SSA? And someone who’s 18 and gay and politically active, as Whitney is, is politically savvy enough to know that working for antigay politicians makes him a prime outing candidate. That apparently feels more natural, and the mere discussion of sex is a dead turnoff. Whatever the fuck is going on here, WTF, and whatever the fuck I tell you to do, I’ll get shitloads of mail—all from readers with no more information to work with than I have—explaining how this is all your fault. She thinks I’m a great guy. A Savage Love reader was contemplating outing an innocuous celeb back in April.

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A mature 18 year-old has somehow failed to tell her real age to her new boyfriend who thinks she’s at least 20. We took the longest (only) hiatus in Swingset History and each of us has come back rested and ready. Two days ago, she came back from the doctor and told me she has genital herpes. HPV! I’ve had the ovaries to bring this up only twice to men I’ve been with. Like all straight guys who wanna suck a little cock (and there seems to be a ton of you out there), you want two big things (besides cock): safety and discretion. A: If you’re looking for a label, WANK, what’s wrong with “exhibitionist”?

How do I enjoy myself without having to explain to my employers how drugs ended up in my urine? A flasher may be the first thing that pops to mind when people hear the term “exhibitionist,” WANK, but while all flashers are exhibitionists, it doesn’t follow that all exhibitionists are flashers. … There’s always a risk but you don’t hear people advocating against sky diving or snowboarding. His is the kind of deeply fucked-up, sociopathic reasoning you hear from guys who are consuming actual child porn and/or raping actual children. Look, kiddo, there’s a difference between being a jealous asshole and being a self-aware sex partner. After the Orlando Attack, Islamophobia Reared its Ugly Head in Washington: According to KUOW, a mosque in Redmond is amping up their security after a threat was reported to the local police department just hours after the shooting. I’ve never actually experienced the kind of insulting comments and physical punishments that I fantasize about.

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If you’ve been fucking other women without protection, well, odds are good that you’ve been exposed to HPV already. Please give me some advice as to how to get my guy’s spunk to taste better! TP is active on Twitter (@deliveryboy4m) and maintains a blog devoted to SPH (his passion) and animal rights (which his Domme is passionate about) at fatandtiny.blogspot.com. According to TP, TINY, you’ve already laid the groundwork for the successful incorporation of SPH into your sex life: You’re having good, regular and satisfying vanilla sex with your partner. When you’re ready to broach the subject with the fiancée, TINY, I recommend starting with both an apology (“I’m sorry again for what I put you through”) and a warning (“This is probably going to come as a bit of a shock”). Then tell her you have a major kink, tell her she has a right to know about it before you marry, tell her that most people’s kinks are wrapped up with their biggest fears and anxieties … and she’ll probably guess what you have to tell her before you get the words out. I have a health question/problem.

Also, you say you “don’t get the feeling” he’s scared to touch you. Zij gaat er serieus mee om, maar ze is ook heel relativerend. Pay attention to these signs and you will discover his favorites. Emphasize that your giggles are evidence of arousal, not disgust or contempt. Even days after, the left side of my penis head was really sensitive and it hurt. It’s still too sensitive to touch from time to time. I have a doctor’s appointment, but it’s two weeks away.

I’m a little worried I may have hurt my prostate or urethra or something. From my basic Googling, there doesn’t seem to be any medical advice about this. Help please? “The application of an external constriction to the penis did potentially cause the pressure in the urethra to rise, possibly traumatically, during ejaculation,” says Dr. If someone cannot give consent in the moment, because, in this case, he or she is drunk or passed out, any further sexual actions constitute rape. They spent two hours talking about the good ol’ days, and in the process found moments of catharsis in their strained friendship. For all intents and purposes, it’s like I duct-taped the tip of my penis shut and tried to blow a load.

your urethral meatus — and the force of your impeded ejaculation damn near blew off your cock. I don’t like that I get pissed off as much as I do, I don’t like that I get frustrated, but it works for me in comedy because people can relate to it, you know? “The bottom line is never impede urination or ejaculation by obstructing the urethra,” says Newman.

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This week the Lovecast is honored to welcome Dr. We’ve been in a monogamous relationship for four years. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savagelovecast.com and get yourself a season subscription. I was wondering if you can give me the details of what happens at a brothel and are they expensive? I’ve had the ovaries to bring this up only twice to men I’ve been with. Call us quickly!! See what I mean?

She’s gorgeous, an athlete, and can read ancient Greek. I don’t go around looking for others. When he’s dressed, he’s giving himself permission to live out his fantasies (with an assist from you); when you see him dressed, your inhibitions lift because, hey, there’s no way you can freak out or outfreak the boyfriend. Give it a whirl, and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% discount and free web domain registration. Here’s what happened: I just had sex with a street hooker. In other words, PPP, somehow those two condoms conspired to dam up your piss slit—a.k.a. IUDs do not provide STI protection—nor do birth control pills, diaphragms, or having your tubes tied.

What if the real­ity is shat­ter­ing? Just be­cause you’re a vir­gin—or were a vir­gin—doesn’t mean you’re go­ing to auto­mat­ic­ally click with the first wo­man who vo­lun­teered to put your dick in her mouth. That particular hormone makes a man sleepy, it makes his boner deflate, and it temporarily renders him indifferent to and/or repulsed by sex. That’s a character flaw. But you want a guy who’s your equal out of the bedroom (and can’t dictate implant sizes to you because it’s not “his body,” it’s yours) and a fun BDSM play-partner/Master in the bedroom. The Rex Buckingham route was never going to do it for me, but as soon as Peralta went into Serious Cop Mode, I was considerably more onboard. But it’s also a failure of comedy, letting all the air out at the end.
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People who are too embarrassed/ridiculous to go see their doctors are highly likely to arrive at a herpes misdiagnosis. Get yourself a good-paying job and a gold-plated HMO, cuz you’re gonna be shelling out some dough. What have I learned from young people? Take a lover, CWYWF, take two. “Men are more turned on by visuals” is a cliché because it’s true; men are more turned on by visuals. What if you decide you like such stranger sex … But you, clearly, could do better by your lesbian buddies.

She still wants a divorce, but she also wants our child to grow up in a stable environment, so she says she will forgive me to an extent so we can have an amicable relationship for the sake of our child. There are some very effective treatments for herpes these days, and she should seek ’em out. Part of the reason it’s not routinely screened for in asymptomatic folks is because it’s so common. I truly feel that, over the long term, I would never be with a girl. My boyfriend now has herpes. (Spoiler alert: It didn’t.) The problem is, I guess the double condoms were too tight, and climaxing hurt quite a bit. Would it be wrong or immoral of me to use our child as an excuse to spend more time with her in the hopes that we can reconcile?

For the next seven months, I can go with her to doctor appointments, Lamaze classes, baby stores—to say nothing of when our child arrives. I’ve always been considered a “knockout,” while my lover is “different” looking. As reconciling with the wife would be in the best interests of your soon-to-be-born child, CHAD, spending more time with the wife in the hopes of reconciling would be the right and moral and responsible thing to do. One hundred? Q: My girlfriend and I haven’t had anything resembling sex in months. Help, please? Why?

His staff would get lab work back, and after they recovered from their shock at the results, high-fived each other in the office. I’m taking a couple of weeks off later in August, and if anyone who’s taken my advice and lived—lived to tell the tale, lived happily ever after, lived to regret it—would like to write in, please do. Stern, who gave her stage name to protect her identity, thought about applying to work at Clublove, but says she opted against it because Warshavsky runs a seedy joint. So your updates don’t get lost in the swamp, please send ’em to youruinedmylifeyoubastard@savagelove.net.

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I’ve been thinking about this actually. I usually don’t care much for labels in any aspect of life, but I’m hoping that knowing what to call this may help me find others who share the same interest: I love it when a woman watches me masturbate. Recently we’ve been doing the long-distance thing, and we’re going to be doing it for a while until I can move from Canada to the United States. I am floored. Schell is wrong! Also, I don’t want to show just anyone; I just enjoy being watched by a woman. I can’t.

I don’t know what to think. A flasher may be the first thing that pops to mind when people hear the term “exhibitionist,” WANK, but while all flashers are exhibitionists, it doesn’t follow that all exhibitionists are flashers. Is my jealousy a negative trait that I can get over? Is my jealousy a negative trait that I can get over? At first, I wanted to get really uppity about this. Look, kiddo, there’s a difference between being a jealous asshole and being a self-aware sex partner. Jealousy is not trusting your girlfriend when she’s out of your sight; it’s flipping out when other men notice her; it’s making furious and baseless accusations of cheating.

Jealousy is controlling/manipulative/abusive behavior masquerading as insecurity. I’ve been in a relationship for a little over a year now, and it’s great. Jealousy is controlling/manipulative/abusive behavior masquerading as insecurity. So let’s set down the douchebag and start getting informed, okay? We’re talking sex partners here, CIC, not large pizzas or pot stashes — a reluctance to share is not evidence of a character flaw. I also have a fantasy for a woman to watch me have sex with my BF or another man. Some folks aren’t built to share a sex partner, don’t want to share, and consequently shouldn’t share.

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So why not do the decent, loving thing and just assume you’re already infected and refuse to let a piddling thing like herpes destroy your marriage? Lots of dykes watch gay male porn, a phenomenon I would unpack in this space if, um, I had the faintest idea what was up with that. As much as I would love to indulge his kink, I also don’t want him to bite the dust at age 40 from some obesity-related disease. He wants me to feed him during sex, and generally encourage him to gain weight. Pollen allergies. I love the man too much to care if he gains a little, but I don’t think he’s interested in gaining just a little. He developed symptoms for the first time a year into our relationship and I believe him when he said he hadn’t cheated on me.

Presumably it had been lying dormant or his first outbreak was so small he didn’t notice. Just like any smart kinkster asks a partner to indulge, or consider indulging, his kink, HACIM: with a smile and a sense of humor. He developed symptoms for the first time a year into our relationship and I believe him when he said he hadn’t cheated on me. Am I the goodbye committee for the gay scene in Seattle? So here’s the issue: Do I tell future partners in advance that I’ve been exposed and risk scaring them off over a disease I don’t seem to have? During the three-way, my then-future boyfriend struggled with a condom and said that they “choked” him. I’ve never had any symptoms and we were pretty careful (condom use, no sex during his outbreak) once we discovered the issue, but we had been having unprotected sex for about a year before the outbreak and I know that condoms are not 100 per cent effective anyway.

There are fags out there having a hard time meeting guys they can see themselves with through happy hour. I said that I didn’t, and he said that he didn’t either. If you do have herpes, SSA, I would encourage you to be open about it — all of it, SSA. I want to be responsible, but also not cause myself a huge amount of extra stress and possibly heartbreak. I mentioned it in the male prostitute story because condoms were about to be foregone, and the consequences of that commitment were on his mind. Help please? If you don’t disclose, you’re not going to enjoy your new relationship because you’re going to be stressing out the whole time.

You don’t want to date guys who are hysterics about herpes — you don’t need that kind of stress, either — and, averages being what they are, sooner or later you’ll find yourself having the talk with a cool guy who already knows he’s been exposed. A thinking person who met someone under those circumstances would be shocked to discover that her now-boyfriend didn’t have herpes. Not just your exposure and the fact that you haven’t had a single outbreak, but also the odds that the person with whom you’re sharing this info has herpes himself. So long as the GOP insists on attacking gay and lesbian Americans, Whitney’s sexual orientation—to say nothing of his hypocrisy—is relevant to a debate that the GOP started. I finally had that moment of clarity that made me realize what a tool I am, and how I was jeopardizing a great family life for some extra pussy (or manpussy, depending on the hookup). He’ll lie to you about other stuff—like, you know, vasectomies that he may or may not have had. You’re going to want to make this a non-issue as you head into a new relationship, and the only way to accomplish that is through disclosure.

Someone who’s 18 and gay is old enough to drive, join the army, vote, and come out. But any time I bring it up, she says she doesn’t like to discuss it and that she’d rather “surprise” me. Drop the bomb, get your asses into couples’ counseling, try to stay together for your kids’ sakes, and when the new kid arrives, get a paternity test — and a vasectomy too, just in case you’re ever tempted to stray again.

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I’m a re­cently mar­ried 30-year-old straight guy. At my most re­cent gyno vis­it, I found out I have two va­gi­nas. My relationship with my wife is a good one. (Thanks for the warning, Dan; I’m sorry I didn’t heed it.) She took it personally but seemed satisfied when I said it was only nerves. And while you have cause to be angry (serial adulterers suck), you don’t have grounds to destroy your husband’s life. Both men have always treated me with respect and kindness and both are clean of disease. Guy leaves Girl several phone messages.

She has never been a particularly good kisser and her blowjob technique was less than spectacular. It’s just the smart thing to do. There could be something wrong with you, OPA, and you could be an asshole. I can’t rule either possibility out after quickly reading one e-mail and thoroughly examining three nude photographs. Or maybe I’m just complicating all these thoughts too much. He was then rushed to hospital where they treated him for cuts and lacerations before discharging him later daily mail online gossip news that same day. [embedded content] Skin-to-skin contact can transmit herpes, sex between two people with herpes can oral .

Guy sends pathetic letter to advice columnist. No one knows, and I trust him on this. See­ing as your con­di­tion went un­detec­ted by your first gyneco­lo­gist (Dr. The kind of gay man who gets off on orally servicing a straight man — the straight guy walks in, unzips, gets off and goes, no reciprocation, no American Idol gossip (Sanjaya? Tell her it might take you a little while to get there, but with her help and patience — and mouth and pussy — you’re sure you can get there. These scenarios are possible, I guess, but “not interested” seems more likely than “eaten by sharks” or “starving to death on her bathroom floor,” dontcha think? Your friend with cancer may have a compromised immune system, though, and a herpes outbreak—a first one—could be very aggressive and very unpleasant.

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Girls who let a guy go down on them aren’t virgins. We share the same bathroom, so I knew I would have to be diligent about that. It’s the price of admission. I’ve called the vet and my medical provider, and while they both agree that my pup cannot contract the STD, they cannot rule out the pup passing the infection on to me. Please advise. And genital herpes (though it doesn’t have a cute name like “cold sores”) should be regarded in the same manner. If that you are actively taking part in gossip, think about why you’re doing it.

I have recently started working in an office building that is filled with straight men. Now that I am surrounded by straight men, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon, and there’s something I have to ask: Dan, what’s up with all the grunting, groaning, and loud exhalation when straight men piss? Not only are you pla­cing your wife at risk of con­tract­ing an STI, DDD, you’re also pla­cing your un­born child at risk. Any tips on keep­ing this from hap­pen­ing in the fu­ture? I used to love giving blow jobs. Job?), herpes-related or not, and if you’re really freaking out about your promiscuously affectionate new dog, well, you can make up your mind to refrain from kissing any animal that drinks out of toilets, licks its own ass and laps up vomit. Consequently we missed out on some things.

I don’t know about you, GGMSE, but personally I’m glad I was at home memorizing the score of Cats and not trapped in some filthy tree house learning how to light farts or gulp air and belch at will. What to do? No one has ever asked me to do this before her. If you are out, then mockery is called for. Or am I for doing it? She’s kinky, you’re GGG, and you’re both enjoying some kick-ass, boundary-pushing sex. I was terrified of having to talk about this with future partners, sure that I would be seen as dirty and unworthy of love.

But to listen for gossip is usually to help stab a person which has a sharp-edged sword. With all the mail you receive from people sharing these most intimate details of their sex lives, you must have heard some really entertaining masturbation horror stories. I’m not talking about a little embarrassment, Dan, but lasting trauma. I’m afraid I’ll wind up with an­oth­er Paul and not a Peter. I hope in the fu­ture you’ll hold per­pet­rat­ors ac­count­able and put a name to their ac­tions: rape. Straight men are supposed to value blow jobs above all else, we’re told, and, consequently, guys who can’t come from head alone are often shy about saying so. So that, right away, is a confidence killer when trying to meet women.

Water-bed fluid contains a great deal of acid, and soon my friend’s dick blistered and peeled–think bad day at the beach–which caused him much suffering during basketball practice.

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Savage Love

Savage Love

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34; Stanley Almodovar III, 23; Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20; Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22; Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36; Peter O. 2 meses con ese dolor, ya tomo aciclovir, ultravir, Neuralin, si fuera algo natural sería mejor ya que con tanta medicina ya hasta le esta afectando su colon y estomago, gracias amigos….. During a recent make out session, she informed me that she has HPV, the STD that causes genital warts. If you approach oral sex like it’s an obligation, you’ll never really want to do it. I said okay—trying to be GGG—and 24 hours later called back and reneged. Dan, I can’t stand the idea of another guy with her. I can’t.

I trust her and I believe that she would only be after the sex—but the idea of another guy doing anything to her drives me nuts. Her friends are NOT FINE WITH IT. None of this is the issue – he responded in the very best way I could have hoped for and has been nothing but caring and sweet and helpful. Het is goed dat je daar goed over nadenkt. Kiss the back of his neck…brush your nipples against his back. How about “Frank-N-Furter-Ing,” for Dr. That’s just stating a sexual preference, if I may repurpose that phrase.

A sincere desire to be your girlfriend’s one and only sex partner should not be confused with something as base as jealousy. Jealousy is not trusting your girlfriend when she’s out of your sight; it’s flipping out when other men notice her; it’s making furious and baseless accusations of cheating. Jealousy is controlling/manipulative/abusive behavior masquerading as insecurity. Get SmartMouth at your local drugstore and keep your breath fresh. And you’re not jealous, just monogamous. Teen girls who live with both parents are three times less likely to lose their virginity before their sixteenth birthdays. What would I say?

Comedy Death-Ray Radio Since it debuted last year on indie1031.com, Scott Aukerman’s Comedy Death-Ray Radio has followed in the taste-making footsteps of the beloved weekly UCB Theatre comedy show that spawned it. When I woke up, my dick had shriveled into a leathery red sheath of pain. He was better known by now as Barney Williams, his stage name. Where do they draw the line, breaking into the water supply? I love the man too much to care if he gains a little weight, but I don’t think he’s interested in gaining a little. It’s still too sensitive to touch from time to time. Before I turn down his request, I wanted to ask you if you might have any ideas as to how this kink could be played out in a way that keeps us both happy and healthy.
Savage Love

Of course, on vacation, you have time for all of the above! Sorry, Bay, but gay-bashing thugs — people like you, your horrible brother Pat, your vile candidate — can’t have it both ways. He developed herpes symptoms for the first time a year into our relationship and I believe him when he said he hadn’t cheated. My current one gives me a two-week period, I have gained about 25 pounds in two months, and I am more moody. He has been to my house many times and he spends the night but I don’t know what to do next. You met up with a strange guy for a nearly anonymous three-way that some other guy set up over Craigslist, and it turns out that this strange man you met — your now-boyfriend — has a rather common sexually transmitted infection. While I don’t disapprove of snowballing, it’s one of those sex acts that I don’t wanna hear much about, pro or con.

He stated that he had had a vasectomy and then asked me if I had any STIs. I have no idea how to handle this. As reconciling with the wife would be in the best interests of your soon-to-be-born child, CHAD, spending more time with the wife in the hopes of reconciling would be the right and moral and responsible thing to do. Help please? In June, crosswalks are scheduled to be installed at the intersections of 23rd and E Jefferson St, 23rd and S Jackson St, MLK and E Alder St, 14th and E Yesler St, and 24th and E Cherry St. First, SSA, you might want to get tested—you do know you can get tested for herpes, right?—and find out, for sure, if you even have herpes. Because the American Taliban would rather see sexually active women dead than vaccinated.

Hey Gay Boys: Have you ever gotten laid through the Stranger Personals? Not just your exposure and the fact that you haven’t had a single outbreak, but also the odds that the person with whom you’re sharing this info has herpes himself. One out of every four adults has herpes and most of us—because we’ve never had an outbreak or didn’t notice the one mild outbreak we may have had—aren’t even aware we’ve got it. But here’s the best reason to disclose, SSA: for your own peace of mind. You’re going to want to make this a nonissue as you head into a new relationship, and the only way to accomplish that is through disclosure. If you don’t disclose, you’re not going to enjoy your new relationship because you’re going to be stressing out the whole time about whether or when your new partner is going to have an outbreak. A really bad yeast infection can look/feel like genital herpes.

You don’t want to date guys who are hysterics about herpes—you don’t need that kind of stress, either—and, averages being what they are, sooner or later you’ll find yourself having the talk with a cool guy who already knows he’s been exposed. I’ve been married for eight years to, and have two kids by, my wife—she thinks I’m a great guy. I recently started seeing a man. At the end of the proverbial day, though, I used my wife’s low sex drive as an excuse for fucking around. This isn’t a sex question, but a relationship question: I finally had that moment of clarity, realized I was jeopardizing a great family life for some extra pussy (or manpussy, depending on the hookup), and decided I was done cheating. Problem is, the last woman I slept with e-mails me a few weeks ago and tells me she’s pregnant. I need to tell my wife, obviously.

Is there any way to tell her this without completely losing her? I don’t have any magic words for you, DT, as there’s no way to say “Honey, I knocked someone else up” without risking the end of your marriage. Drop the bomb, get your asses into couples counseling, try to stay together for your kids’ sakes, and when the new kid arrives, get a paternity test—and a vasectomy too, DT, just in case you’re ever tempted to stray again.

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Savage Love

Savage Love

In the days following the birth of my first child, I silently cursed my girlfriends for withholding valuable information. … It’s not the rhythm method, and isn’t just for Catholics. 1986/87), New Desperados 7″, Live at the Ace of Clubs May 21, 1986, 90.9 with a Bullet: 20 years of Calgary Music on CJSW, Calgary Compelation, Live At Peace Fest (1988), Savage Love (outtakes), Live at the Ace of Clubs – 1986/87. What if his son chooses to do the same thing–but instead, he decides that driving after drinking a few beers isn’t that big a deal? This article is about the bodily orifice. I have control over when I have children and when I don’t, without taking drugs or damaging my body!

Regardless of how you feel about this topic today, you will undoubtedly walk away from your monitor/laptop/PDA/whatever with food for thought. Slice a tomato and rub the frequency as time goes by this disease once again. As for the counter-arguments: It doesn’t work for everyone. Penis? … People can make mistakes (user failure). I might even have to get an abortion if I don’t use it right!

EDITOR: If I were Mr. A sexually transmitted disease (STD), a. “We offer information about all methods. Fertility awareness is in our all-method fact sheets; we have pamphlets about it right beside pamphlets about condoms and diaphragms. So kissing can tell if you have genital warts can actual state you may developed antibodies can help those who has genital herpes symptoms and are usually appear in the candidate and a social outcomes off in the overall aspect of the said she wont date or having no scarring but thinking that brands of condom during intercourse or others they have the right mixture of high priority. The book Mary recommends on fertility awareness is the creatively titled Fertility Awareness by Katherine Whitlock and Regina Pfeiffer. How may I pleasure you?” is a perfectly acceptable turn of phrase.

Savage Love
… Fertility awareness is more complicated, more effective, and it takes some training and commitment. Good as new! Get reimbursed for the hell they’ve caused you and your family. … I made an appointment. The pain was bad enough, but there was a deep sense of loss I wasn’t prepared for.

Then the pain grew. Can you say granuloma? Now, if you test positive for a bacterial STI, hop on the antibiotics and tell your friends who’ve been exposed. Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. I made an appointment. According to our ever-helpful friends at Planned Parenthood, sperm leaking from the snipped tubes can cause a small lump–granuloma–under the skin near the site of the operation in about 18 out of 100 cases. It would be a shame for Seattle’s exceptionally open-minded and diverse music scene to end up suffocating the same way.

… As for your other symptoms–decreased sex drive and lower spunk output–that’s about what’s going on in your head, not what’s leaking into your sack, that deep sense of loss you’re struggling with. If shooting live rounds is important to your sense of sexual self-esteem, you probably shouldn’t have had a vasectomy in the first place. Reversing a vasectomy is a much more expensive procedure and not always effective, but if shooting blanks is wrecking you–and you can afford it–you might want to have that vasocasostomy. I was kidding. Sex is so much damn fun, diluting your sexual experience undermines the whole reason you’re here. I wasn’t endorsing lysine, because, for all I know…ha ha ha.

Hey, RV: You might want to take your balls back to the doc. The best food sources are lean meats, fish, potatoes, and milk. Thank you for “How to Talk Good” [Sept 26]. ^ “Real porn”, Tiny Nibbles. Lysine deficiencies can impede immune function, make you crabby, make your hair fall out, and a whole bunch of other depressing crap. So eat yer taters and drink yer milk. This is not a question, but an answer.

You recently responded to someone who had a scat fantasy. Feelings around missing out are painful and are certainly exacerbated by social media. I don’t know of any clubs per se, but for you and your reader’s information, he can obtain hetero scat videos from S.W. I’ve been taking lysine tablets for about 15 years, whenever I feel a herpes outbreak coming on.

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Savage Love

Savage Love

Bottom line: The experimental herpes vaccine was 58 percent effective at preventing genital herpes from HSV-1, but did not show protection against HSV-2. My husband and I have two children. (Warning: not for the faint of heart!) E-mail him at mail@savagelove.net. Help me, Dan! Girl prom­ises to call Guy upon re­turn. And while you have cause to be angry (seri­al adulter­ers suck), you don’t have grounds to des­troy your hus­band’s life. The letter you’ve just read is bullshit — total bullshit — and to fulfill the public-service requirement of my parole, I shall now walk Savage Love readers through the Bullshit Detection Process.

First, the writer uses phrases like “frequent self-stimulation,” and “love muscles,” and “my precious bodily fluids.” Letters from people with actual questions or real problems rarely use flowery, overblown, or “erotic” language; people with real problems get right to the point. Recently I saw a message from a woman saying, “Call me or I am calling your wife.” I identified myself, and she and I spoke briefly. (Straights want it to go away because it’s not about them; gays want it to go away because it ma kes us look bad.) Sorry, gang: This story isn’t going anywhere. Still, there is an up­side for gay groups and AIDS or­gan­iz­a­tions in the me­dia’s grow­ing ob­ses­sion with the bug-chas­ing story: It draws at­ten­tion away from a po­ten­tially more dam­aging story. Un­for­tu­nately, Girl isn’t ro­mantic­ally at­trac­ted to Guy. If he’s go­ing to en­gage in risky sex prac­tices with men—and you don’t know that he’s do­ing that (he could be us­ing con­doms cor­rectly and con­sist­ently)—he should talk to his doc­tor about get­ting on PrEP, aka pre-ex­pos­ure pro­phy­lax­is, aka Truvada. Also, the writer suggests he comes in both of his eyes and then goes to sleep, awakening the next day with his eyes pasted shut.

Puh-huh-huh-leeze. He has never tried to not use a condom when we have had sex. And isn’t that a scandal in and of itself? Today a small sub­set of gay men is busily re­cre­at­ing those dis­ease set­tings in back­rooms, through chat­rooms and in sex clubs. That’s the ob­vi­ous scen­ario, ITG, and ob­vi­ous scen­ari­os are usu­ally the cor­rect ones. Then write me a letter about how much it hurt, and I’ll advise you not to do it again. Two weeks ago I noticed a small bump on the underside of my penis.

It’s grown larger, and alternately itches and hurts when touched; it looks like some kind of pimple or cyst. This is my biggest issue: I don’t think we can work through our problems without honesty. What I can’t get used to — what appalls me — is gay men re-creating the kind of sex culture that opened the door for AIDS in the first place. And I’m not op­posed to slut­ti­ness per se. Girls who let guys go down on them aren’t vir­gins. Cancer? Herpes?

Savage Love
I have no health insurance, otherwise I’d be talking to a doctor. But because you don’t want to call the police yourself—you don’t want your fingerprints on this—you want to con your husband (with my help!) into telling “the full truth” to a therapist who will have to call the police. Sluttiness, like pornography, can be hard to define. No, he’s not. I have re­cently star­ted work­ing in an of­fice build­ing that is filled with straight men. It’s probably a cyst or pimple or ingrown hair — have you tried to pop it? — but on the extremely off-chance that it is something more serious like, say, herpes or cancer or polio, you do need to see a doc.

As a straight woman living in Vancouver, B.C.’s West End, I generally have no trouble with gay men. My boyfriend of two years and I broke up because I found out that he was having sexual relations with anonymous men he contacted through Craigslist. Is he guaranteed a life free of HIV and other STDs? Reg­u­larly en­ga­ging in FDAS means that your chances of a badly timed break, tear, slip, or leak are high­er, as are your chances of land­ing in bed with one of those selfish as­sholes with is­sues. What causes straight men pain when they piss? All I ask, guys, is that you PACK OUT WHAT YOU PACK IN. When gay men don’t use condoms, straight people complain that we’re being irresponsible.

When we do use condoms, straight people complain that the evidence is stuck to the bottom of their shoes. Since I am the only person in his life who knows his secret, I feel some sort of responsibility. They can also be removed midbuttfucking by inconsiderate, selfish assho … excuse me, by gay men with “issues.” If you’re like most sexually active gay men, CC, you go on a lot of first dates. Okay, I’m done with the bug chas­ing sub­ject. Con­sequently, we missed out on the farts-are-hil­ari­ous/listen-to-me-piss so­cial­iz­a­tion that our straight male coun­ter­parts sub­jec­ted each oth­er to. While we’re on the subject of straight people, folks are pretty worked up about Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?, the TV show that arranged for a gold digger to legally wed a wealthy failed comic and motivational speaker, (a man who happens to have a history of domestic violence). I won’t speculate as to What This Says About Our Culture — frankly, I don’t care what it says — but there are a couple of things I’d like to point out.

First, the very same people who are trying to prevent gay couples from enjoying the rights, responsibilities, fabulous presents, and alimony payments that flow from legal marriage — the folks always going on about the “sacred institution of marriage” — have been strangely silent about this assault on the sacred institution. Where’s the Christian right’s outrage? Because HIV infection is not as widespread among heteros as it is among homos. For instance, New Zealand’s state-owned television network recently showed footage of a man stapling his penis to a crucifix and setting it on fire. Feels goooooooood. And what did the man whose penis was set on fire, student Thomas Hendry, win? A million dollars?

A kiwi orchard? A sheep ranch? Oh, and the Supreme Court rules on Katie’s Magic Wand. Lordy, lordy, I wonder What This Says About New Zealand Culture? It wasn’t un­til after his or­gasm that he glanced at the con­tents lis­ted on the bottle. in New York promised to e-mail me a dozen nekkid pics of you if I would wish you a happy birthday in my column. So, John McD, best wishes on your birthday.

Okay, Craig, send me those pics.

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Savage Love

Savage Love

I’m a straight girl who started dating this straight guy six months ago. If he asked her to start gussying herself up again, would that make him, like…you know…an asshole? (Bet you never knew that your computer manufacturer also liked to rock!) Unfortunately, that attempt at making a connection failed, as the world took the album, collectively rolled its eyes, and roundly mocked Apple on Twitter. When you’re ready to broach the subject with the fiancée, TINY, I would recommend starting with both an apology (“I’m sorry again for what I put you through”) and a warning (“What I’m about to say is probably going to come as a bit of a shock”). The logical solution, of course, is to have threesomes. We have lots of great vanilla sex, we love be­ing to­geth­er, and we re­cently got en­gaged. I sup­pose this is nor­mal, but I don’t see last night as some vic­tory or a “bond­ing mo­ment,” and I am afraid that is a bad sign.

You do, CREAMPIE, your wife does—and so does your regular third. It’s been 40 years since that song came out and it’s still everywhere. But we are both free to have sex with other people, and it’s bound to happen sooner or later. What’s important is that she’s hurt, not spurned. Romany Malco’s disgruntled to the point that he avoids eye contact and phrases his questions as sentences. Just because you’re a virgin—or were a virgin—doesn’t mean you’re going to automatically click with the first woman you sleep with. But back to your troubles.

[Laughs.] I know what I’m not sharing, so I can hold a lot back. I’ve discussed this with my husband endlessly and have mentioned open marriage, but nothing ever comes of it. It’s almost impossible to masturbate too much (and, anyway, there are a whole lot of unwanted kittens in this world). I find my husband’s fantasies become mine because I always play a role. I don’t want to have sex with a woman, but I really want to find one who wants to stay fully clothed while watching me masturbate. I admire your finely honed sense of right and wrong, to say nothing of your ability to accept blowjobs from a dude while still identifying as straight (seriously—I do admire that), but your myopia on one aspect of this arrangement seems, well, I’ll be charitable and say thoughtless. You say in your recent column that the only way to truly avoid STDs is to not have sex.

HSV-1 is a little more flexible than HSV-2; HSV-2 is rarely found in anyone’s mouth. We take reasonable steps to reduce our risks. If we’ve taken reasonable precautions, the odds are in our favor. After a few days, my leathery foreskin flaked off and the pain went away. You’re probably just one of the many men your cumdump currently services. Which means, DDD, that every time you get a blowjob from this guy, you’re placing your wife—your pregnant wife—at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection. I am not getting one of those ridiculous ball implants.

(In straightland, ET, female sexual reserve acts as a built-in check on male sexual excess. Hey, DWI: According to Sharon Broom of the American Social Health Association, a number of recent studies have shown that in roughly half of all cases, HPV over time appears to be “completely eliminated from the body.” What’s the catch? Kinks should always be presented as perks, as something that makes you a more interesting and fun sex partner, not as something that makes you a defective or problematic sex partner. About a week and a half ago, the wife and I had sex. He could have bad luck or one terribly reckless moment or wind up in a relationship with a guy who lies to him. But in those days, demand was so high that patients often died before a hospice could take them. Explaining a baby born with syphilis—and, oh, blind and brain damaged—to the wife is, well, I don’t know what it is.
Savage Love

The dildo cam isn’t the only problem. Or would that be irresponsible? I used to love giving blowjobs. But she has a tremendously low sex drive (once a month is good for her) and mine is fairly high (three times a day would be perfect). He was appreciative. We don’t need help supporting this panic. But if it’s vaginal intercourse he wants, then he’ll have to get used to condoms.

While this is a great attribute during intercourse, I hated it when giving him a blowjob. He would often go limp halfway through! I was monogamous and childless for about 10 years, during which time I had very few flare-ups. I was angry afterward because I felt he hadn’t been a good partner. Just lying back forever letting me work my jaw, tongue, and mouth until they just about fell off?! Even after we talked about this, he continued this behavior, which made me want to stop giving blowjobs at all. Eventually we broke up, albeit after two years, but since then I haven’t been able to rekindle my love of giving blowjobs.

I’m afraid I’ll wind up with another Paul and not a Peter. They’re both relatively easy to catch and they can both infect the mouth area or the genital area. Or am I expecting too much? But here’s the real kick­er: I like tall wo­men. So no, HACB, you have a right to expect a guy to come in a reasonable amount of time, and a guy who holds back and fights off his orgasm is being selfish and inconsiderate. I’m convinced Billy Joel became the alcohol-sodden little troll he became because he, too, hates his music and he was trying to escape. Perhaps Paul simply can’t come from oral sex alone?

Some men can’t, HACB, and they often worry that they’ll be seen as freaks. Whether it’s funnier than any scripted stage banter is up for debate, but it’s way more exciting. So they’ll just hang in there in hopes that they’ll eventually come. Finally, HACB, maybe it was your technique? That’s fine with me! It never hurts to ask someone, “Hey, anything I can do to help get you there?” Say it with a smile on your face, not a look of annoyance. Maybe all Paul needed was a finger in his ass and the opportunity to request it.

My boyfriend and I are both trans men. Until me, he had only been with non-trans guys, that is, guys with erectable penises. I had been with other trans men, and women. I am used to cunts and like the ins and outs of them, the taste, the smell, and everything that comes with them. Especially ones enhanced with testosterone. I do not think my cunt is special in any regard, but he claims to smell a pungent funk. I have never had complaints from any other lovers.

His distaste for my cunt means I never get oral, and barely ever get fucked by his hands and toys. I now wash before he touches me, but that doesn’t seem to help much either. Do you think we are doomed?

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